I wrote this piece on the day of my son's high school graduation. He is now 33 years old and we are as close as ever. I dedicate this to all parents who are facing the reality that your baby is growing up.
Tonight the wonderful, creative son who I gave the best years of my life to raise (and I don't regret a single minute of it) graduates from high school.
I am celebrating and grieving at the same time.
One minute I am making plans, buying little presents in a celebratory mood; the next I'm irritable and crabby to him; the next I'm driving to work thinking about something totally unrelated and tears suddenly well up in my eyes.
Gee, this is a strange time. He and I have been practicing this new foxtrot together in the last few months - I guess in preparation for the last dance of the evening as mother and son.
I either love the guy or I can't stand him. I either can't wait for him to move on or I'm watery-eyed at the prospect and trying to hug him against his weak protests.
I've noticed he hasn't made any flying leaps onto our bed for hugs lately, which believe it or not only ceased in the last few months.
We're all struggling with this upcoming separation - he as much as anyone. I remember how hard it was to pull him away from his red and blue parka that he wore for three solid years when he was little. It took a lot of persuasion on our part and tears on his part to get him to accept a new coat, even though his arms were clearly poking out of his old one.
To end on a funny note, he came in last night after we had gone to bed with great news.
"Mom, Dad, did I tell you I was voted Most Eccentric by the senior class!"
All I could say was, "Way to go, son. I must have done something right!"
Judi Quinton Moran 1994
Photo by andy, whose photos can be found at flickr.com
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6 comments:
I bet its hard to see your baby grow up! My son is 6 and I dread him graduating! ha!
Very nice letter. I have one graduating from high school this year. We made it to graduation and the party is this coming weekend. There has been much joy and a lot of tears.
I loved this post as I fondly remember going through all of those emotions when both of my children left to be on their own. My oldest is 30 and my baby is 27. I felt these emotions with both their HS graduations and then again at college. You say it very well that time flies and your baby is grown and gone, but hopefully, not too far.
Good Job!
I feel your pain. I had four and the first one was indeed the hardest - struggling to hold on to him just a little longer, but knowing that my job was to make him independent of me. We never cease to miss them, and although we exhault the many milestones we will see them make, we still want to comfort them when we know they have been hurt. Parenting is a never-ending road of hills and valleys.
Your post made me remember all the crazy emotions I had last year when my only child graduated HS. He is only an hour away at college and comes home frequently enough so that I know he still loves us (or needs me to do his laundry) but we still do that foxtrot while trying to find our middle ground for him to continue to grow and for me to let go. I wonder when he will realize I will never let go, it's all an act on my part, ha ha!
From the point of a daughter about to leave home for university...
I somehow feel the pain you felt at that time too but in the other direction. I keep thinking about how I won't be entertaining my dad's series of probing questions while we watch CSI together for a very long time. And all the times my parents burst into laughter at the dinner table because of some insider joke I don't understand- it's always so amusing to watch my mom giggle like a little girl.
Ahh I'll miss those times!!
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